


The Depths of my Mind

by GreenxLady



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Subnautica (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Gen, Mentions of Blood, Near Death Experiences, Survival Horror, Thomas said he was scared of the ocean, everything wants to kill him, if you die in the game you die in real life, no beta we die like men, so this is exactly what I'm going to shove him into, spoilers in the tags!, thalassophobia, this is my first fic in a long time btw, trapped in subconscious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenxLady/pseuds/GreenxLady
Summary: "Warning: hull integrity critical!"No! This just couldn't be happening, not when he was so close! His hands kept slipping as he tried to grip the steering wheel, but all of his desperate attempts to evade the attacks proved futile. He could do nothing more than to stare at the numbers plummeting, a countdown to his demise."I shouldn't have gone so deep..."After a car accident leaves him stranded on an ocean planet with no memory of how he got there, Thomas does whatever he can to get back home. But soon, he realizes that there is much more to this place than meets the eye, and it looks like he'll have to go deeper if he wants to shed some light on the mysteries surrounding 4546B. And before long, he races against time, evading predators, starvation, and a bacterial infection as he struggles to survive another day. That is, until he encounters some very familiar allies...
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Deceit & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders & Thomas Sanders
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! I'm glad you decided to check out my fic, this is just based on a silly little idea I had based on one of Thomas' fears. I wanted to make 4546B the setting because 1. I might be too scared to play this game but it's gorgeous and 2. it's absolutely criminal how little fics are written about it.  
> And when I say I'm too scared to play it: Yeah, I've only watched Jacksepticeye's playthrough of it, so this fic is going to be (very) loosely based on that. All information comes either from there or from the Subnautica wiki.
> 
> But before you proceed, here are some trigger warnings that apply to this fic: Car accidents, mentions of blood and injury, light violence as part of the genre, mentions of drowning, thalassophobia, severe bacterial infection, killing and eating small animals, darkness, monsters
> 
> Enough rambling, on with the story!

„Are you sure this is the right way to go? It doesn’t really look like they’d be anything around here.”

“Trust me, I’ve done this before. Now turn right!” The submersible’s movements became sluggish as it turned, the headlights illuminating a hole in the barren cliffside.

“Ok, if you say so. I still can’t see anything, though.” Suddenly, he flinched. “What was that?!” His hand started shaking as a dark shape obscured part of the hull.

“We’ll be fine,” assured the other, but their voice was tense, “you just need to- Watch out!” They jinked forwards, instinctively trying to take over the controls as the shape reappeared, but managed to restrain themselves. 

“I’m scared, what should I do?” the first one squeaked. There were only few times he had been this terrified, and most of them just happened to be found within the last three hours. His eyes were darting left and right, trying to find out where the creature would appear next, when a loud crash from behind him made him scream.

With every subsequent attack the hull integrity percentage on the readout lowered, but with that monster outside there was no way they could get out to repair it in time. “Use the Perimeter Defence System, then full power straight ahead!”

Thomas barely managed to squeeze out that he wasn’t straight before the counter reached zero and the Seamoth exploded, launching him straight into the maw of a waiting Boneshark. His already-low health bar ran out, and with a sigh he handed the mouse back to Joan, who instantly left the habitat their character had returned to. With practised movements they started gathering material to build another Seamoth while he just watched them, glad to have a bit of a breather.

It had been some time since they had just been able to hang out like that, so Joan had decided to remedy this by inviting him to play some Subnautica at their place as soon as it was safe again. Thomas had agreed, not knowing a lot about the game, and decided to just let them surprise him, and both ended up playing for several hours, taking turns and switching anytime one of them died.

Of course, that meant that it was mainly Joan who got to play.

But Thomas didn’t really mind, watching them play was much more enjoyable without having to worry about finding materials or trying to evade predators. Instead, he got comfortable, shuffling his feet to wrap himself in one of the blankets like a fluffy burrito, and grabbed a handful of chips form the snack bowl between them. He paused for a second as Joan threw him a warning look, but his grin was all they needed to know that he would protect their blanket from the army of evil crumbs like a diligent guardian. 

Directing their attention back to the screen, they manoeuvred around a Kelp forest. “I’m telling you they’re called Creepvines,” they kept insisting, but could barely hold their laughter as Thomas bugged them, whispering “kelp…” over and over, before he reeled back at the sight of a Stalker suddenly entering their field of vision, his scream finally making Joan break. Thomas grumbled for a few seconds, but just couldn’t stay angry, quickly going back to admiring the game’s gorgeous visuals and immersive audio.

Many hours passed and he started to get tired. He had long since let Joan take complete control of the game, a choice that had paid off as they had finally managed to cure the disease and disable the weapon that was keeping them trapped on the planet. From there, it was only a small step towards building the rocket, their way out. Thomas felt his eyes sting a bit and rubbed at them, noticing that he had started crying during the last cutscene. 

Joan let out a deep sigh as the game ended, the tension finally leaving their shoulders. While they were still experienced concerning its controls and strategies, there were some things that never failed to make them jump. “Hey, Thomas?” they asked, turning around, “would you ever want to actually visit Planet 4546B?” They were unable to supress a smile as his eyes widened.

“What? You mean live on a planet that is mostly ocean where almost everything wants to kill me? No, screw that!” he laughed. “I’m sure there are a lot of people that would love to explore over there, but I’m fine staying here without having to worry about a Reaper trying to make me its next meal, thank you.” 

“Alright, alright. Just messing with ya,” Joan said, grinning, as Thomas started to fold up the blanket. They exited the game and turned off their computer, noticing that it was much later than they had thought. “Man, time flies. You want me to give you a ride?” 

Thomas shook his head. His car was at the mechanic’s to get hauled over, he had come by bus today. “Nah, it’s fine, I can just take the bus back home. It doesn’t take long, anyway.”

“Suit yourself.” Joan shrugged, putting away the bowl of snacks. “Give me a call if you change your mind.”

“Will do,” Thomas called from the hallway as he put on his coat and stepped outside. “See ya!” Instantly, he felt the cold bite at him, the wind trying to infiltrate his clothes from every direction, leaving him thankful that he had chosen to wear some extra layers today as he made his way to the station. The night sky was darkened by clouds, and even the streetlights were dimmed by a thick layer of mist. For a second, he wondered if he shouldn’t turn back and take up Joan’s offer, but at that moment the bus was already turning around the corner and approaching him. 

He boarded it and sat down, noticing that only three or four people were on the bus with him. After taking out his earbuds and selecting his favourite playlist he felt his eyes droop as he leaned his head on the window, the heat of the radiator making him feel relaxed and sleepy. He felt himself drift in and out of sleep, trying in vain to jerk himself awake so he wouldn’t miss his stop.

It was only through a haze that he saw the spotlights heading straight for him. He had no time to react before the bus started swerving madly, trying to evade the truck. For some reason, he didn’t panic as the vehicle collided with his side of the bus. He only heard the splintering of the glass and felt his body being launched away, before everything went white and the world faded into nothingness.

**‘Attention. Hull failure imminent. All personnel abandon ship.’**

**‘Launch in 3…2…1…’**


	2. Awoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All PDA entries are quoted from the wiki, I just changed the format a little and added a few details.

Thomas was floating. He felt his body bob up and down, darkness surrounding him like a blanket. He did not know where he was, but he didn’t care. It was nice. He was…at peace.

But that did not last long. Something in his mind was nagging him, urging him to open his eyes. He didn’t want to; the darkness was soothing to him. 

And deep down, he knew that he wouldn’t like what he’d see.

The feeling did not stop. A constant sensation, like an itch he could not quite reach. Was it a memory? Groaning, he tried to chase it away, jerking his body out of its peaceful state. Instantly, as if a veil had been lifted, a rush of information started assaulting his senses to the point of overloading him. A high-pitched noise morphed into sirens blaring in his ears and the stench of smoke and molten plastic filled his nose, making him gag. Fighting the reflex, he forced his eyes open, recoiling at the sight before him.

He was sitting in a small oval chamber, barely bigger than an elevator. The walls were covered in machines he did not recognize, the middle dominated by a ladder, and opposite him a seat was mounted on the wall, empty. But his eyes were drawn to his left where a fire had already spread throughout half the chamber. His scream turned into a cough as he attempted to stand up, but he soon noticed that the seat he was in was restraining him. Starting to panic, his eyes darted around, noticing a glowing pad attached to the seat. He barely registered it saying **‘Open’** before smacking it repeatedly, tensing up for a second as the bar holding him in place lifted and he fell to the ground, the fire closing in. Using the seat to pull himself up his leg brushed against a red object lying next to him.

_‘A…fire extinguisher?’_ His thoughts were muddled, but he still managed to pick it up and pull the pin before spraying the approaching flames with white foam, smothering them. With laboured breathing he stared at a collection of sparking wires in the wall that had been exposed, the spike of adrenaline subsiding as it seemed that the fire wouldn’t start again, and collapsed to the floor, the half-full fire extinguisher falling from his arms when he used them to prop himself up on his seat. Despite the darkness tugging at the edges of his vision he forced himself to stay conscious, faintly hearing some kind of ventilation system activate to clear the air. For several minutes, he remained there, unmoving, and tried to collect himself. Where was he? How did he get here? Closing his eyes, he began searching through his memories for an answer, a clue, anything hinting at what might have happened, but there was nothing. He only remembered giving Joan a call to ask them if they wanted to meet up, but everything after that was too hazy. _‘Huh…maybe Logan knows. Ugh. My head is pounding.’_ He focused and attempted to sink into the Common Room.

He couldn’t.

No matter how hard he tried, his mind remained blank. Where there used to be an ethereal copy of his current location was only a black void, none of the sides responding.

“Logan? Roman?” His voice was rough, no doubt from the smoke. “Patton? Virgil?” He started shaking, panic welling up in his chest. “…Janus? Remus?” But there was nothing, no one to answer his call. He collapsed, the panic holding him in its clutches like a predator, his lungs begging for air. Faintly, he remembered the lessons, the darkness already appearing to try and claim him once more. _‘In for four seconds.’_ His breath was still shaky, but he forced his body to obey. _‘Hold it for seven seconds.’_ His lungs were screaming at him to breathe faster. _‘Out for eight seconds.’_ He repeated it in his head like a mantra until his body finally cooperated, slowly managing to calm down. 

Now that the smoke was gone it was easier to examine himself and his surroundings. He seemed to be wearing some sort of wetsuit, the material being elastic yet firm and reinforced in certain areas. The lights in the chamber were dim and everything was tinted red, no doubt due to the fire partially destroying the mechanism. The wall to his right had a white and orange device, a bench that looked like it could be opened and the section of wall above it was covered by a huge screen.

**WARNING. Circuitry Test: FAILED. Secondary Systems: OFFLINE. Radio: OFFLINE. Distress signal broadcast: FAILED. Flotation Devices: DEPLOYED. Hull Integrity: OK. Last Planetary Scan Results: HABITABLE. Solar Power Cells 1-3 ONLINE.**

For a solid minute he was just staring at the red letters, their meaning barely registering. Almost nothing was working, he was lucky that he even had oxygen. _‘I’m so screwed.’_ At least the thing wouldn’t fall apart on him.

It was only now that he noticed a glass tablet lying beside him. He didn’t recognize it, yet it somehow felt familiar. Curious, he picked it up and started examining it. _‘Is this an electronic device? But I don’t see- Ah, there.’_ The device sprang to life. **‘Alterra’** it said in a strange voiceover, a logo spinning in the middle of the screen. 

**‘You have suffered minor head trauma. This is considered an optimal outcome.’** The voice was female, but clearly electronic. **‘This PDA has now rebooted in emergency mode with one directive: to keep you alive on an alien world. Please refer to the databank for detailed survival advice. Good luck.’**

For the entire message he remained still. He just could not believe his ears. _‘An alien world?’_ His thoughts were racing as he looked up from the PDA. Carefully, he approached the middle of the chamber, eyeing the hatch installed in the floor, but it was too dark for him to see anything, though the bobbing told him that the outside was water. He was too afraid to open it, fearing that, if there was life on this world, something would jump out at him. Choosing to climb the ladder instead, he saw another hatch and looked through it, instantly marvelling at the sight before him.

Half of the sky was a rusty red, until he realized that what he was looking at was a moon, one that was scarily close to the planet. The other half was filled with stars forming constellations he did not recognize and upon further examination he spotted a second moon, white and much smaller than its partner. For some time, he just stood there, admiring the sight when a thought hit him: _‘Wait. If there is a moon, there must be a sun whose light it can reflect! So, unless this planet doesn’t have a rotation there’s bound to be a time when I’ll be able to see.’_ He clutched the ladder as he wondered when that time might come. Suddenly, he stifled a yawn, his shoulders sagging with exhaustion. _‘Perhaps I can get a bit of rest while I wait out the night,’_ he decided, climbing back down, and tried to make himself comfortable in his seat. His breathing was calm as his eyelids fluttered shut, a glimmer of hope in his heart that the next day would bring answers.

He awoke to the sound of something brushing along the roof of the chamber, opening his eyes, and instantly cursing himself for choosing to fall asleep like this as his back loudly protested with every movement. Trying to stretch to loosen his muscles he looked around, instantly noticing the brightness from outside the top hatch. 

“Yes! I knew it!” He quickly finished stretching before rushing up the ladder, hesitating for a second when he saw strange flying creatures were sitting on top of it as he realized that he wasn’t the only form of complex life on this planet, but decidedly brushed away his doubts as he unlatched it and pushed against the glass, chasing them away. He was ready to close it again in case they attacked, but they just left. Then finally, trusting the screen to be right about the atmosphere being habitable, he opened it wide and climbed outside.

A gust of fresh air hit his face and he took a deep breath, relishing the feeling of it rushing past him and soothing his irritated throat. “I’m never taking air for granted again,” he swore himself, standing still for a minute with his eyes closed before completely pushing his body through the hatch and looking at the scenery. He instantly froze at the sight unfolding itself before his eyes. 

A huge spaceship, bigger than anything he had seen before, had crashed into the ocean, the expanse of water stretching towards the horizon. Was that how he got here? He didn’t remember boarding a spaceship, but who knew how large the gap in his memories was. But that didn’t matter. All he knew was that he had to get to it and somehow repair it. If there was any hope for him to return home, it was across the water. He swallowed. At least the water did not appear to be that deep. He didn’t know what was at the bottom of the ocean and he wasn’t about to find out. 

A beeping sound tore him out of his trance. Confused, he looked around for its source before realizing it was his PDA. He checked it, noticing he had a new message, and played it. 

**‘The Aurora suffered orbital hull failure. Cause: unknown. Zero human life signs detected.’** He felt his heart sink. It seemed he really was all alone.

Sighing, he climbed back down into the chamber and closed the hatch. Even with the spaceship being right there he had no chance of getting it fit for flying without the right tools, and right now, he had nothing. Despair threatened to overcome him, but he pushed it down and clenched his fist. _‘I might have nothing right now, but I can do this! Stop letting the big picture scare you, just take small steps.’_ A couple of deep breaths brought his pulse back to normal. “It’s okay, Thomas, it’s okay. You might have to stay here for a while, but you’ll manage. Right now, your objective is to survive.”

He turned his PDA on again, trying to familiarize himself with it and its use. _‘It…said something about a databank…there we go!’_ His eyes flicked from left to right as he scanned the text. 

**If you are reading this, then you have survived an emergency evacuation of a capital-class ship equipped with Alterra technology. Congratulations: the hard part is over.  
Your PDA has automatically rebooted in Emergency Mode. This operating system has one directive: to keep you alive on a hostile alien world. If that is not possible it will alert salvage teams to the location of your remains.**

He let out a dry chuckle. _‘How comforting…’_ he thought, before continuing.

**It features: Full monitoring of vital signs for timely survival advice; Blueprints for fabricating a range of essential survival equipment, tailored to your environment; Onboard camera, microphone and OCR technology for short-range situational analysis – Cross-compatibility with all Alterra-compliant products.  
NB Your personal and work files have been encrypted and may be retrieved at a later date by a licenced engineer.**

Apart from this entry, two more were visible, one of them titled **WARNING: Blueprint Database Corrupted**. He opened it and instantly let out a groan. “Of course 80% of the blueprints aren’t there! It’s not like I need them or anything.” Frustrated, he attempted to throw the device against the wall, only stopping himself at the last second and sighing. No matter how infuriating it was, he still needed it if he ever wanted to leave this planet in one piece. He furrowed his brow as he read it again. It looked like he would be able to get the blueprints back by scanning remnants of the Aurora, so at least he had that going for him.

The next one was a survival checklist. “Huh.” His eyebrows shot up. “This thing’s got something useful after all.” He quickly scanned it, judging it to be sound advice. “’Administer first aid if required’. I…guess I should have thought of that sooner.” The pounding headache he had felt last night had dissipated, and when he touched his forehead all he could feel was a trickle of dried blood on the skin. “What’s next? ‘Take inventory of available materials and supplies and decide on rations.’ That sounds good,” he stated, his voice filled with newfound resolve. Now that he had a clear objective, nobody could stop him.

Even without resources, in a world that was against him, he would survive. And if it were just to spite it. 

* * *

A few minutes later, he had a better grasp of the situation. Inside the Pod’s storage he had found food and water rations, a med kit, which he decided to save in case he suffered worse injuries than a simple cut, as well as emergency flares and a scuba mask. A quick check of his PDA had confirmed that he was wearing a suit meant to be worn underneath space suits, but that could indeed double as a wetsuit. His Lifepod was damaged, only supporting basic functions, but for now he had food, clothing and shelter all covered. On one side of the Pod was a machine that his PDA identified as the ‘fabricator’ mentioned in the databank, and according to the list of recipes he had found he could use it to create equipment as long as he could bring back the necessary materials. He groaned as he realized that, while he had a wetsuit and a scuba mask, he didn’t have a helmet or any kind of air tank, so until he could build one he’d have to rely on his lung capacity to keep him alive while he looked for them.

“Welp, there’s no time to lose,” he sighed, opening the bottom hatch after observing the multitude of colourful fish swimming past. If any of them were edible he at least would not have to worry about his rations running out. He dipped his toes into the water, testing its temperature as he secured the mask on his head. Then, after deciding that it was acceptable, he took a deep breath and dove in.

The colours he had seen through the hatch instantly surrounded him. The water was surprisingly clear, only disturbed by the sand his feet were kicking up with every movement, unveiling the reef he had landed in. Strange fish, oddly shaped or with gigantic eyes hid amongst clusters of purple mushrooms or underneath red coral disks, rocks were gently floating above the seafloor, held up by what looked like pink balloons, and bushels of sea grass took advantage of the shallow water to drink in sunlight, only shadowed by the creatures grazing upon them. 

Thomas’ mouth fell open in awe, making him quickly swim back to the surface and splutter after swallowing saltwater, but he decidedly dove back down to carefully approach the herd of aliens. They resembled manatees, but their skin was dark green and covered in bumps, though this paled in comparison to their tail, which looked like a huge ball with bright yellow dots. _‘Remus would probably just call them “butts”,’_ he thought, and stopped, preferring to keep his distance. No matter how goofy they looked, he didn’t want to find out how they would react to him; even apparent herbivores were able to defend themselves when threatened, after all.

He felt justified when one of them spotted him and let out a gurgling sound, almost akin to an old engine starting, and the bulge behind it released a cluster of small yellow orbs that promptly dissolved into the water, creating a green liquid. _‘What the- ‘_ He didn’t have time to react when a passing fish made the liquid swirl towards him, and almost screamed when it made his skin burn. _‘Is that…acid?’_ Wincing, he backed away and resurfaced again, though it seemed like the liquid was only dangerous when he was directly exposed to it and its effect did not linger.

As he tried to work out what kind of substance it could have been, a glint caught his eye. Worried that it might be something else that would try to kill him, he examined it from afar… and promptly facepalmed. _‘It’s just a piece of scrap, Thomas, just junk. It can’t hurt you. Well, unless you cut yourself with it, and-‘_ he stopped himself. _‘Wait… if the fabricator in my Lifepod can use this, I’ll have materials for my tools!’_ Suddenly excited, he started digging the sand around it, carefully avoiding the sharp edges and wires, until he held his prize in his hands.

The piece of metal was lighter than he had anticipated. _‘Probably a sort of titanium alloy,’_ he thought, _‘All the better to build my stuff with.’_ Satisfied with his first exit, he returned to his Pod and fired up the fabricator before inserting the scrap. As predicted, it vanished, and instead he got a message from his PDA that he should add the four pieces of titanium to his inventory.

“What? Inventory?” he wondered, patting himself down. It was only now that he noticed the sleek backpack that was part of his suit. He took it off, grabbed the pieces of titanium off the fabricator and stuffed them inside, marvelling at the way it slightly expanded to accommodate them. “Nice! I wonder how much I can carry in this thing, but either way, this is convenient.”

Now that he had materials, he decided to check what he could do. He opened his PDA and started scrolling through the recipes before freezing and scrolling back up. “An O2 tank! Exactly what I need!” Quickly, he took the titanium out of his pack again and selected the recipe, watching as the device worked its magic, lasers forming the metal into the desired shape. 

Finally, it was done. A grin spread on his face as he fastened the tank on his back and got familiar with the mouthpiece. It had been some time since he went scuba diving, but that knowledge would have to do, anything was better than having to hope his lungs would not collapse while he gathered materials.

“Hold onto your glowing butts, aliens, it’s time to get serious!”


	3. Under the Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thomas gets the hang of this ocean planet. Said ocean planet has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for this chapter: injury, blood, panic attacks and loss of control, carnivorous creatures, language
> 
> Information mostly taken from the Subnautica wiki, but slightly changed to fit the story. For example, he'll need to scan creatures before getting an entry in his Databank.

His triumph was short-lived.

While he was now able to remain underwater for more than a minute, finding what he was looking for wasn’t as easy as he expected. Knowing that his rations would not last forever he had decided to hunt for food, but those fish were much faster than him. Not to mention the fact that he had no idea how to get fresh water. For now, he had retreated to his Lifepod to catch his breath. 

_‘This is bad.’_ A low rumble disturbed the silence, and he took a reluctant bite out of one of his nutrient blocks. Even though he had to save them, he couldn’t hunt on an empty stomach, and it would be no use if he got lost at sea because he didn’t have enough energy to make it back. 

After a few moments, he put his mask back on and descended once more, only to notice that it was already starting to get dark. Confused, his head broke the surface. “…What? But – but the sun rose only a few hours ago, how is it night _already?!_ ” Yet, it did not take long for the brilliant light to vanish beneath the horizon, leaving the two moons to illuminate the sky. He debated with himself. If he went back now he would be safe in case there were nocturnal predators, but he would waste precious time and resources; though if he insisted on foraging it would be very likely that he’d miss most materials, not to mention his prey. 

It only took one look beneath the surface to make a decision. The entire reef was alight with colours, the myriad of bioluminescent creatures and plants revealing a beauty that was invisible to the diurnal observer. Prominent were the vivid purples interspersed with light hues of green and blue dotting the seafloor, their shine only interrupted when one of the rocks floated by, the pink from the balloon-like creatures appearing even brighter than before. A set of yellow circles swam past him, puzzling him until he recognized the fish that had kept evading his attempts to capture them. 

Acting upon a simple instinct he stretched out his arm and grabbed one, doing his best to hold on tight as his PDA told him **‘New creature discovered’** and the rest of the swarm fled, but his prey’s movements were much more sluggish than he had expected once he had caught it, given how fast they could swim. He did not care, though, this would make bringing them back to his Pod much easier, and contemplated the fish’s blue scales and giant yellow eyeball before stuffing it into his inventory. It was only after putting his pack back on that he realized what he had just done and promptly pumped his fist, a rush of bubbles leaving his mouth with his yell of triumph and forcing him to the surface as his tank ran out. He had just caught something! 

But at the same time, a thought was nagging him. He had never killed something like this before, and even though his mind told him that it should have the same moral repercussions as eating meat, it felt different to him. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, more to himself than the fish, “but there isn’t anything else to eat around here, and I just can’t allow myself to starve to death. I have to do this!” Trying to force the guilt down with every breath, he did his best to convince himself that this was something necessary, but promised that he would do everything to find another reliable food source. Until then, he would have to kill to survive.

He retreated to his Lifepod, noticing a message on his PDA that a new entry had been added to the databank. “So, it’s called a Peeper, huh,” he said, deciding to check it out later. Turning on his fabricator he pushed the button for ‘food’ before inserting the fish and selecting the ‘Cooked Peeper’ option. Once again, the machine got to work when his PDA suddenly spoke up, making him jump.

**‘The fabricator cooks small organisms, while disposing of the skeletal structure, bodily fluids and internal organs, thus rendering them safe for human consumption.’**

He picked up the steaming meal, thankful for his gloves for protecting him from burning his fingers, and smelled it. Instantly, he wrinkled his nose. _‘Why does it smell like somebody tried to make a burger patty out of a mixture of minced beef and fish?!’_ But he had no choice. He blew on it and reluctantly took a bite, ‘hashafashasha’-ing as a flash of pain told him that, yes, it was still hot, and tried to chew to the best of his ability, when his eyebrows shot up as the taste hit his tongue. “Okay,” he stated aloud after swallowing, glad that the air relieved some of the pain, “Either this just burned my tastebuds to a crisp or this is actually edible. I mean, sure, it needs some salt, but it’s pretty good otherwise… why am I talking to myself?” 

He had to get off this planet before he went crazy.

As he finished his meal he rested for some time, not wanting to risk his safety by swimming right after eating. To pass the time he checked the new databank entry, feeling a pang of disappointment when he could find little more than the creature’s name. Now that he was thinking about it, there was no way his PDA could actually know its name. If he really were the only human on this planet, it would probably mean that he was the first, too. This unknown world likely had not been studied yet. _‘Did it just come up with this on the fly, or…’_ he let the thought trail off. Perhaps, until he got the ship up and running again, he could at least use this opportunity to do some research on the local flora and fauna, but for now he would hunt.

* * *

There was no escape. With no luminous markings on his suit the dark of night provided the perfect cover; his prey never saw him coming. One fish after the other vanished in his pack, soon joined by salt deposits he had found on the ground in the hope to flavour them a bit. He originally wanted to stick with Peepers, already knowing their taste, but when a strange fish resembling a pair of see-through lungs swam past him, he couldn’t help but grab it, if only to know its name.

**‘Alien lifeforms may have unexpected applications. Utilizing alien resources is a proven survival strategy.’**

_‘Could you please WARN ME before you do that?!’_ He pressed a hand to his chest to try and calm his racing heart. _‘Jeez, if it’s not the starvation that will kill me it’s gonna be the cardiac arrest…’_ Once he had eased up again, he made his way back, still holding on to the strange fish which his PDA had dubbed ‘Bladderfish’. Just in case it was important.

He soon felt justified when it turned out that he could use this kind of fish to make filtered water and the salt to cure the rest of the meat, a weight being lifted off his chest as his meagre rations were replenished once more. He had just finished packing them into the storage space when the night sky outside the hatch brightened up, shifting from velvety black to a light grey. “So, second day, huh,” he mumbled, before the voice interrupted him once more.

**‘Detecting increased local radiation levels. Trend is consistent with damage to the Aurora’s drive core, sustained during planetfall.’**

His thoughts were racing a mile a minute. Radiation? Drive core? A film of cold sweat had started forming beneath the suit as the words sunk in, but he shook his head, determined to keep on believing. Believing that he could fix it, that he could leave-

He jumped into the water, the sudden cold clearing his thoughts. He mustn’t let them get to him or he would lose all hope, something he could not afford. Using the increasingly bright daylight he went back to scouring the seafloor, picking up scrap and looking for other resources. 

While he was digging the sand, his thumb brushed something spiky. Carefully, he unearthed it, revealing a cloudy crystal, and put it in his pack. If there was a use for it, he would find out later. Following the seafloor, lost in thoughts, he barely noticed the ground opening up to reveal a cave, only backing up when the light dimmed.

**‘Detecting sulphur deposits in the local cave systems. Sulphur is an essential component of the repair tool.’**

_The repair tool._

He latched onto the word like a lifeline, hope coursing through his veins. _If he had a repair tool, he could repair the Aurora!_ The thought extinguished everything else as he frantically looked around, leaving behind both despair and reason, until a strange noise approached him, almost like a toy car-

The ensuing explosion tore him out of his trance as he was left disoriented, partially blind and with a ringing in his ears. Instincts took over, manoeuvring his body out the nearest exit and back to the surface before his sluggish brain had even noticed that his tank had been damaged, the shockwave tearing through the pipe and leaving his body without air. Once he resurfaced, he broke into a coughing fit, his lungs attempting to expulse the water he had inhaled, when he suddenly noticed something red in the water. His heart almost stopped at the realisation that it was blood, _his own blood-_

Instantly, he turned around to return to his Lifepod. He did not know where it came from, his lungs or an injury, but he couldn’t stay in the water. Opening the hatch, he checked whether he had left a trail and winced when a thin line of red followed his path, soon dissolved into the surrounding waters. Once he was safely inside, he carefully started to take off his suit, a hiss escaping his lips when his fingers touched the raw and bleeding skin on his side, the surrounding edges of the suit torn. At least the wound wasn’t deep, but it could still get infected.

Glad that he had saved that med kit before, he took it out and inspected its contents, confused when they were only vaguely familiar to him. Hoping for an explanation as to how to use it he checked his PDA, but he was all too painfully aware of the air on his wound. _‘This- this just can’t be good.’_ Each thought seemed to have a harder time forcing itself through a growing layer of panic; everything on this planet was trying to kill him, and he could neither defend nor heal himself, there was just _no way_ he-

Finally, he stumbled upon instructions, his vision already blurry enough for him to struggle reading it. It appeared he would need to insert the kit into his suit, and it would automatically administer care, as well as repair itself, using the supplies. He managed, although his hands were shaking so much he almost dropped it multiple times. More severe injuries required more kits, but luckily for him his suit had absorbed most of the explosion’s force and his PDA soon alerted him that he was at full health again.

For the first time he was calm enough to think about what happened. He had lost control, ignored his survival instincts, and nearly paid for it with his life. _‘This can’t happen again.’_ But the simple thought of losing his only way back had been enough to send him spiralling. It made him even more painfully aware of the Sides missing in action. Without Logan developing a plan, Roman and Patton supporting him and giving him courage and Virgil and Janus keeping him safe, he didn’t know if he would last long enough. Even Remus, with his unorthodox ideas, seemed like he was made for this world. “Come on, Thomas, they’re still part of you. You’ll be fine,” he tried to convince himself, but it just sounded empty. Without them, if he lost the ship, he would be doomed.

He just had to do everything in his power to make sure that never happened.

The logical course of action would be to return to the cave, carefully this time, and attempt to locate these ‘sulphur deposits’, so once he was sure that he was fine he made his way outside and back the way he came. For just a second, he hesitated, but soon decided that it would be worth the risk. He at least had to find out what had caused the explosion so he could avoid it in the future. 

Poking his head around the corner, he observed at first, noting an abundance of sand-coloured lumps on the walls and the floor dotted with clusters of glowing plants, reassured that the cave would not be completely shrouded in darkness. So, he inched forward, keeping an eye out for any movement and ready to spin around and get to safety should something decide to come after him, when a red plant caught his attention. It looked a little like a ball with a suction cup underneath to anchor it to the ground, but when he approached it, it suddenly opened, releasing a round, one eyed fish that made the same chattering noise he had heard earlier!

Frantically, he paddled backwards, eyes locked on the fish until he was in open waters once more and had more space to dodge, just in time to feel the shockwave push him away. He managed to keep his balance, however, and returned to the surface to make sure that he hadn’t sustained any new injuries, sighing in relief when his PDA confirmed that he was in perfect health. Then, hoping that there was only one fish in that plant, he ventured back into the cave.

Still, he was curious as to why it had been that vehement about trying to destroy him. Was it guarding something and wanted to defend it or was the explosion a part of its reproductive cycle? So when everything pointed to this being the only ‘I’ll-explode-my-ass-in-your-ass’, as he lovingly dubbed it, he approached the now-empty husk, four flaps folded outward to reveal a yellow-coloured inside. Wary, he grazed his finger along one of their edges, rubbing it against his thumb when it came back covered in powder. His heart skipped a beat: _‘Is- is this it?’_

The only way to be sure was to bring it back to the Pod, so he tried to gather as much of the powder as he could into one of his smaller pockets, careful not to spill any, and left the cave. He swam slowly, as the herd of gasmask-wearing farting manatees had approached the cave in the meantime and he wasn’t planning on getting burned again, but they simply ignored him, much more focused on the patch of seagrass they were grazing upon. Keeping an eye on them, he followed an arc back to his Pod to give them distance before opening the hatch and climbing back inside.

A quick inspection of his PDA made him sigh in relief as the substance was confirmed to be a sulphuric component, but there was still more he needed. Titanium was the next thing on the recipe, of which he had enough, but the last ingredient puzzled him.

“Silicone Rubber? How am I supposed to get that?!” It was highly unlikely for him to encounter this material, but he refused to back down, scouring the recipes for an answer he soon found in the form of ‘Creepvine Seed Clusters’. “What the–“ He inspected the image on the screen; blurry, but still clear enough to make out a group of yellow bulbs on green vines, yet he had no idea where to find them. He hadn’t come across anything of the like in the shallow waters. Perhaps if he dove a bit deeper– 

“Nope, nuh-uh, not a chance!” He shuddered. There could be who knows what down there, and he wasn’t yet ready to become its next meal. 

But there was another voice, a voice reminding him that time was of the essence. He really, _really_ did not want to do this, even though he didn’t really have a say in the matter. 

If he wanted to survive, he would have to face his fear.

He made his way through the clear waters, staying near the surface for now as long as he could see the ground, towards what he assumed was the edge of the shallows. The water had a greenish tint to it until he realized that he was looking at plants; dark green vines stretched towards the surface, avid to drink in sunlight as their leaves spread out. But what made him swim faster were the patches of yellow growing on the vines in irregular intervals. The Clusters!

**‘Life on this planet grows in distinct and diverse ecological biomes. Further study recommended.’**

He slowed down. Below him, the ground had suddenly gained an angle, getting further away from the surface as white sand grew sparse to reveal the rock underneath until he could barely see it anymore. The vines were not growing as close together as he had first thought, and the little sunlight that filtered through them revealed strangely shaped shadows, only confirming his fears. He swallowed. If he didn’t want to find out whether they were herbivores or carnivores through first-hand experience he would have to avoid them.

Observing them for a few minutes to make sure they would stick to the deeper parts he took deep breaths, trying to calm down enough to start paddling again, just deep enough to be able to hide within the kelp should one of the creatures decide to get some fresh air. Occasionally, they ventured further upwards to snap at small fish, revealing light blue skin, a long snout, and a row of sharp teeth, but they never seemed to notice him.

Then, after what seemed like eternity, he had finally reached one of the clusters. Keeping an eye out for the predators so they wouldn’t surprise him he got to work, pulling on the cluster, ripping and tearing at the vine connecting it to the stem until it was done, and he was holding one of them in his hand. He took off his pack and stuffed it inside and, pensively, looked at another one. If it turned out he needed more at any time it would be wise to get some more, and as long as he was careful…

* * *

“AAAAHHHHH! I’VE MADE A TERRIBLE MISTAAAAKE!” he yelled, before diving beneath the waves once again, trying in vain to shake his attacker. He had only wanted to gather a few more and he could have sworn that he hadn’t gone that deep, but that still didn’t change the fact that he was now swimming for his life, one of the creature’s teeth already lodged in his arm and giving him a hard time swimming straight. Forcing his legs to move faster he tried to widen their movement when he suddenly felt his foot hit something. Hard. Wincing in pain he dared look behind him, the pain immediately replaced by satisfaction at the sight of the fleeing predator.

 _‘Take THAT!’_ He was elated, but he already felt the adrenaline wearing off so he pushed himself, further and further, hoping to ride the wave of energy all the way back to his Lifepod. He made it just in time. Barely enough time for him to open the hatch, grab a new med kit and insert it into his suit before the numbness receded and the pain flashed like lightning behind his eyes and throughout his body. The tooth lodged in the wound might have held the blood back, but now that he was being treated its presence beneath his skin was all-too jarring for him. 

He bit down on his sleeve as the technology got to work and the tooth was pushed out of the wound, his jaw strained to stop himself from screaming, only inhaling sharply when it clattered to the ground next to him and the wound was cleaned. The world grew dark around him and he fought against unconsciousness before a short beep signalled that the injury had been stitched and wrapped, dropping to the ground with a sigh.

A few minutes passed. How many, he didn’t know, but when his mind finally cleared night had already fallen. He attempted to sit up, a groan escaping his lips. The initial loss of blood had exhausted him, and a lingering soreness in his muscles became a reminder of the incredible feat they had pulled. He just hoped he wouldn’t have to rely on them like that again.

Using the wall as leverage he managed to get to the fabricator and inserted the Clusters, surprised when there was an option to turn them into lubricant, too. “Guess I have enough of them, so I might as well,” he said, shrugging, before watching the device whittle down his resources. Soon enough, he was holding several rolls of silicone rubber in his hands before dropping them to the floor to collect the bottles that followed. 

**‘Lubricant is essential in construction of vehicles and power plants.’** Huh, neat. They seemed to be sturdy enough to be stashed inside his Pod’s storage compartment, but he could clean up later.

Right now, he had a tool to build.

Fingers shaking, he inserted the titanium, sulphur and silicone into the machine and selected the repair tool. His heartbeat sped up as the lasers did their work, assembling the components into something more akin to a gun, but he didn’t care as long as it did what it promised. 

“Yes,” he breathed, finally holding it in his hands. It would be alright. Everything would be alright. He would fix the ship and leave, and hopefully never return.

But first, he would take care of his Lifepod. Walking up to the live wires beneath the missing panel, he wondered. What exactly was he supposed to do? Just poke the thing inside? Curious, he touched the end, jerking his hand away when it burned him. “I should have known that this thing would include welding!” He shook his hand, hissing and cursing under his breath, but nevertheless managed to hold it steady as he pressed the trigger.

Like magic, every wire was sucked back into the exposed machinery and attached itself to the rest, ceasing to spark. Feeling a bit safer, Thomas fetched the dented panel from the floor, only faintly noticing the small splatter of blood still on its surface, and pushed it onto the opening. It only took a few moments for the tool to straighten it out and connect it to the frame, and he breathed a sigh of relief when the lights flickered on and a low humming emanated from the Pod, ready to function.

**‘Lifepod secondary systems online. Running full environment diagnostic and outputting results to databank.’**

He turned around, grinning. The radio was even easier, although he had no idea how the tool accessed its inner workings. And where the screen on the wall previously glowed with red warning signals it now displayed bright green writing:

**STATUS: OK. Secondary Systems: ONLINE. Outgoing radio communication: OFFLINE. Incoming radio communication: ONLINE. Flotation Devices: DEPLOYED. Hull Integrity: OK. Environment: Unchartered ocean planet 4546B, oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere, waterborne bacteria levels: High.**

He frowned a bit at the last part. _This could be bad._ But just before he could think about it any further a beep echoed inside the Pod.

 **“Radio online. Broadcasting emergency distress signal.”** It was the radio. Not even a second later, he received a second message. A loud burst of static made him cover his ears. **“This is Aurora. Distress signal received. Rescue operation will be dispatched to your location in 9...9...9...9...9... hours. Continue to monitor for emergency transmissions from other Lifepods.”**

Slowly, he lowered his hands. _‘Did - did I just hear that right?’_ But it appeared that his initial fears had just been confirmed. No one would come. If he wanted to get away from here, he would have to do it alone. 

He sighed. The Lifepod was still a mess, and he was exhausted. There was no point in working himself past that, not if he wanted any hope of getting home safely, so he started by neatly putting away the bottles of lubricant, the crystal and the tooth. Satisfied, he let out a yawn before promptly collapsing on the floor, the lights in his Pod dimming accordingly to lull him into dreamless sleep.

He woke up much later than he would have liked to; the sun had already started creeping over the horizon. Warily, he looked on as the sky shifted from velvety black into a light grey, before being rapidly overtaken by shades of blue. A new day usually meant bad news here, and sure enough, his PDA was giving him his daily update.

**‘Caution. Continued degradation of the Aurora's drive core may result in a quantum detonation. Continuing to monitor.’**

His blood ran cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, sorry for updating so late. I had to finish an assignment first, but even though courses started again I hope I'll be able to update more often than once a month.  
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this newest chapter! Any advice or feedback is greatly appreciated.


	4. Destabilized

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Thomas wants to leave the planet, repairing the ship is his only hope. But now that he has the Repair Tool, it's gonna be simple...
> 
> ...right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys! I'm sorry for the late update, but I hope you enjoy this new chapter nonetheless. Feedback is always appreciated!
> 
> Trigger warnings: Panic attacks, injury

„Nonononono! No! This just can‘t be happening!” He gripped his head and started pacing. _‘If the ship explodes, I’m doomed!’_ Despair was sinking its fangs into him as the words ‘Quantum detonation’ turned around and around in his mind. He knew he had to get to the Aurora as soon as he could, but it was so far away. He’d never get there on time! And even if he did, his repair tool would likely not be fast enough. _‘What if the drive core is too dangerous for me to even get close enough? Forget about that, what if the ship explodes **while I’m THERE?!’**_

His mind had started to get foggy again. Taking deep breaths in the rhythm he remembered he barely managed to keep himself steady, but he could feel he was still teetering on the edge. He had to do something, but what? A plan. Before anything else, he needed a plan. Taking out his PDA he took another breath and started to scan the blueprints that were unavailable to him, though most were corrupted to the point he couldn’t discern even their name, looking for anything that might help. A few seconds later, a device called a ‘Seaglide’ caught his attention.

The included illustration featured a device made out of two handles and an engine and obviously used for underwater propulsion. It would be perfect if he could just acquire the blueprint, until he remembered with a start that he could scan wreckage to update his databank. “Ok, I’ll need a scanner,” he said, scrolling back up and looking for the recipe. “Huh. Just titanium and a battery. Titanium I have enough of, but where do I get a battery?” He looked further through the recipes until he spotted it, instantly recognizing the first ingredient as the purple mushrooms growing all around his Lifepod but was baffled by the second one.

“Copper? How in the world am I supposed to get that?” He racked his brain. There wasn’t any in the pieces of scrap he had gathered, so probably not from the ship. Would he have to mine for it? He hoped not, there was no way he’d be able to get mining equipment from anywhere, and without a battery he doubted there would be a way for him to power it. “Wait. Didn’t my PDA say something about a short-range scan,” he wondered, and started looking for it. After a few minutes of pressing random buttons he finally managed to pull up what seemed to be a search bar and, hoping for the best, put in ‘Copper’.

A sudden beep from the device startled him, just before holographic writing appeared in front of him, telling him to exit his Lifepod. Thomas spent a few seconds wondering about this new Heads Up Display, but nevertheless followed the directions given to him. Soon, he found himself a few meters away from his Pod and close to a rock formation he had dismissed beforehand, but as soon as he swam beneath one of the arches another message appeared.

 _‘”Break Limestone”?’_ he asked himself, staring as the arrow underneath the writing moved along with him, constantly pointing at one of the lumps he had also seen in the cave, _‘How am I supposed to do that?’_ He attempted to hit is a few times with his fist, but that only made his knuckles hurt. Squinting at it, he instead took off his backpack and started fishing around for a lump of titanium. _‘So you wanna be difficult, huh,’_ he thought grinning, and readied the piece in his hand, _‘Then prepare to eat metal, rock!’_

The Limestone may have bested him beforehand, but even it could not withstand a full-on assault with a blunt, hard object. After a few swings the outer shell started to crack before shattering completely, leaving behind another lump that slowly sank to the ground with the message **-Pick up copper ore-** following it. _‘Haha! Once again, the art of hitting things with other things has proven itself,’_ he triumphed, _‘and I’ve made my ancestors proud.’_ With newfound hope he dove after the ore and put it into his inventory, before looking for more limestone outcrops.

He soon realized that the outcrops were also sources of titanium, and once he had decided he had enough copper for a couple of batteries his backpack was already starting to weigh him down, but he did not want to leave any resource behind. _‘You know, just in case I end up needing it later,’_ he thought sheepishly as he made his way back to his Pod, picking up a few mushrooms along the way. Firing up his fabricator as soon as he had climbed through the hatch, he selected the battery and put in the materials, and it didn’t take long for him to hold a battery in his hand. Without hesitation he put it right back in, along with the piece of titanium he was holding, to make a Scanner. 

**‘The scanner can be used to synthesize blueprints from salvaged technology, and to record alien biological data.’**

Finally, he had the device in his hand. It didn’t really look like much, a bit like a white camcorder with a vertically stretched lens, but he knew deep down that it was probably the most useful thing he could ever have. Checking his suit once more he inspected his belt, faintly remembering something, before laying eyes on a set of hooks and cables attached to it. With a satisfied hum he grabbed one of them and hooked it to the Scanner, securing it so he wouldn’t need to worry about losing it. 

But before he could step outside, he was hit with a wave of doubt. “It’s too much wishful thinking to hope that all the fragments I need will be just around here, but if I go too far, I risk running into those shark-crocodile-things again.” He crossed his arms. “I need a way to defend myself.” 

Taking out his PDA, he started scrolling through the recipes once more, but nothing jumped out at him. The only thing he could find was a survival knife. “That’ll have to do.” Luckily, he already had all the materials there, and it only took a second for him to open his storage and retrieve a roll of silicone rubber. Before long, the fabricator was done, and he picked up his prize. 

**‘Weapons were removed from standard survival blueprints following the massacre on Obraxis Prime. The knife remains the only exception.’**

He guessed that he should count himself lucky as he mulled over the message, sending a quick thought towards the victims, before inspecting his new possession. It was a simple blade, its grip wrapped in rubber, and it didn’t take long for him to familiarize himself with its weight and balance. He grinned, twirling it around his hand a few times, before gripping it tightly.

Now he was ready to explore.

* * *

He was surprised to see that the grazing aliens had disappeared, but also a bit relieved. As long as those predators didn’t stalk him this meant that he was safe. Instantly, he began scouring the seafloor for wrecks; he remembered seeing box-like constructs that contained fragments, but whether the ones he needed were among them remained to be seen. Either way, acquiring more blueprints would be a good idea, just in case a Seaglide wasn’t enough. 

Soon, he spotted one of the boxes and instantly swam towards it, but he realized with disappointment that it was empty. Luckily, the next one he found indeed contained a fragment and he took out his scanner, fumbling a bit before he figured out how it worked. It took a few seconds for him to finish the scan until he heard a beep, checking his PDA, and pumped his fist when he saw that the Seaglide blueprint was 50% reconstructed. _‘Now to find another fragment so I can hopefully get the rest.’_

Half an hour later, he broke through the surface once more, only a small flicker of hope remaining in his chest. It seemed that his luck had run out, but he guessed that this was bound to happen. His database was slowly filling up, but he hadn’t yet managed to find a second Seaglide fragment or even complete one of the other half-finished blueprints. Most of their names were still corrupted, but the ones he could read he didn’t recognize. Names like ‘Gravsphere’ and ‘Mobile Vehicle Bay’ filled his brain, confusing him to no end, but he didn’t have the time to mull over them. He had to keep looking.

With a start he realized that he was a considerable distance away from his Lifepod. He hadn’t even noticed that he had swum that far, but he guessed that most fragments would probably be further away from the Shallows. _‘Some might even be closer to the ship itself,’_ he thought, looking back at the shape towering above the surrounding ocean. But going there and getting back to build the Seaglide and fetch his equipment might take too much time, and it seemed like he might still be able to find fragments here. He didn’t quite know why, but something in his gut told him that it was better to stay away from the ship for now, at least until he was prepared.

The sun was already approaching the horizon, so he decided to take one last dive before heading back. Once more, the surface closed above his head and he observed the seafloor, eyes peeled for any hints of metal. A glint caught his attention and he approached it, almost sighing in relief when he recognized another fragment. Then, hoping that it would help he took out his scanner and powered it on, and not long after he got a message on his PDA. Quickly taking it out and checking it he felt his heart skip a beat.

**‘New blueprint acquired.’**

There, on his screen, was a full, clear picture of a Seaglide, followed by a detailed description of its functions. And, most importantly, the recipe.

He felt his knees weaken. _‘I...did it…I-I finally have it…’_ His mind was reeling with relief, but he forced himself back. It wasn’t over yet, he still had to build it. But luckily, it looked like he already had most of the resources he would need, so he took a second to orientate himself in order to locate the direction his Lifepod was in. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted the edge of one of the Kelp Forests, getting nervous for a second before realizing that he was probably too far away for any predators to spot him, but kept an eye out just in case. When it looked like he was safe he made his way back, before spotting something odd. 

Just underneath him, a cluster of red grass had sprouted from the ground and was swaying with each motion of his feet. He inspected it curiously. His Lifepod might have been surrounded by strange vegetation, but even there he had never seen red grass. He looked around in case he could spot more of it, but behind him, where the ground fell away as the water deepened, the night had already swallowed all light, leaving him unable to discern anything.

 _‘Perhaps I can check it out tomorrow. I won’t stand a chance without a flashlight,’_ he thought, and turned back around. For now, he had to stick to his plan. The water swirled around his feet as he swam through the shallows, his backpack heavy with the resources he had picked up during his search. With some luck he wouldn’t need any of them to fix the ship, but better to be safe than sorry.

It took him much more effort to climb back into his Pod this time. His eyelids were leaden from the day’s work, exhaustion permeating his entire body. But he couldn’t allow himself to sleep, not yet. Taking out his PDA, he checked the necessary ingredients. A sigh of relief escaped his lips when he realized that he already had lubricant, and that he most likely had enough copper to make copper wire and another battery, as well as loads of titanium. He quickly got to work and gathered the resources, noting that his storage space was full to the brim, but he just shrugged. He could take care of that later.

Once again, the fabricator got to work. It took considerably longer that simply making a battery, but he’d already figured as much. Then, finally, it was done.

**‘The Seaglide will increase your effective exploration range. For your safety please pack food and water for long journeys and stay within 5km of the nearest Lifepod or habitat.’**

He did it. His brain was tired, sluggish, but that thought made its way through his brain nonetheless. It might not have been the end, but at least he was closer, one step closer to getting to the ship. “It will be alright. Everything…will turn out…alright…” he muttered, before laying down and succumbing to sleep’s embrace as he clutched the Seaglide to his chest.

* * *

He awoke to the sound of his PDA. Dread made his skin crawl, what would happen now? This sound didn’t mean good news, but he couldn’t just ignore it, either. Hands shaking, he pressed the button and listened.

**‘Warning. Local radiation readings suggest the Aurora's drive core has reached critical state.  
Quantum detonation will occur within 2 hours.’**

Two hours.

He stumbled, barely able to grab the wall before he could fall over.

_Two hours._

Was his heart still beating? He could have sworn it had stopped at some point.

_**Twohourstwohourstwohourstwohourstwo-** _

He perceived his body as if looking through a veil. When had he started hyperventilating? But the darkness was already creeping up on him. _‘I can’t afford to pass out, not now!’_ The breathing exercises were getting harder every day, taking more time than he probably had, but this was the only way. Finally, he was breathing at a normal pace.

_‘I have less than two hours.’_

His thoughts were going a mile a minute. “If I go now, I can still make it!” He stopped. “But what if the ship does explode? If I get caught up in the explosion, I’m never gonna survive!” He ran a hand through his hair. “But I have to at least try!” He started fidgeting with his suit. Then, his hands stilled and he gritted his teeth. 

_‘It doesn’t matter either way. I can’t survive on this planet. So, I will either leave with that ship or die trying!’_

Barely two minutes later, he was set. In his pockets he had rations, although he doubted he would need them, his knife, the repair tool, some spare batteries, resources and his Seaglide. Taking one last look around his Lifepod he opened the bottom hatch and lowered himself into the water, before surfacing again and turning to spot the ship. Then, he activated his Seaglide and took off.

The water was rushing past him, and although he stayed at the surface, he could see creatures evading him. A quick look underwater revealed another Kelp Forest ahead of him, making his stomach churn in worry as the dark shapes below him were alerted to his presence and raced after him. Frantically, he kicked at the water, trying to gain more speed, but the shadows were drawing ever closer, jaws filled with razor-sharp teeth snapping at him…

And then, he was out. Beneath him was another extension of colours, just like the one he had landed in, but he didn’t pay attention. His mind was focused on the looming shape of the ship, rapidly approaching. The predators had turned around, his mind telling him that it seemed they were wary of something, but he pushed the thought aside. He had to keep going.

The colours underneath him were starting to fade when his PDA let out a sound, and a warning flashed on his HUD.

“Radiation detected?!” he sputtered, frantically trying to swim backwards until the message disappeared. “No, please, not now!” His heart was racing, whether from the exertion or the panic setting in he didn’t know, but it felt like it was pumping ice through his veins. The ship was still so far away. He knew that the water was acting as a shield, protecting his body, but this meant that it would be impossible for him to remain on the ship and live for even a minute, much less the amount of time it would take to repair it.

He took out his PDA, almost dropping it when he couldn’t stop shaking, and scoured the recipes for something, anything, that could help him survive, but there was nothing. Not even the lost blueprints revealed radiation protection. He got angry. “I KNOW how to protect myself! I KNOW I need lead to make a suit! So WHY does the fabricator need a _blueprint_ for it?! Can’t it just line a normal suit with lead,” he panted, his frustration costing even more energy. But he had no choice. 

He had to find a blueprint. Somehow.

* * *

“No! No, no, no!” he yelled, surfacing again. He had looked everywhere, but all he managed to find was a Data Box containing the blueprint to something called a ‘Propulsion Cannon’ in one of the Kelp Forests. Night had already fallen, time was running out. With every second that passed, he got more and more desperate, debating whether it would be safe to search the Kelp Forests once more, trying to calculate the probability of those sharks ganging up on him if he spent too much time in their territory, but he knew he had no choice.

But even after several minutes of searching between the vines he found nothing. _'Could the sharks have carried something off? And if they have, where would they take it?'_ Looking around, it didn’t take long for him to spot a cave. He had been able to avoid the predators so far, but he did not want to press his luck and carefully swam towards the entrance, keeping an eye out for any movement from within. Once inside, he froze, hearing movement behind him, but it seemed like the creature hadn’t seen him. He let out a shaky exhale, bubbles streaming from his mouth and swirling around a cluster of violet, jellyfish-like plants hanging from the ceiling before escaping through another entrance at the top. Eyeing the plants, he kept his distance, and started inspecting the cave for any hints. 

The walls and ceiling were covered in sand-coloured lumps, similar to the ones he had seen closer to the surface, but slightly darker. As he swam past one of them he hit it with his knife, but instead of titanium or copper the flaking sandstone revealed a lump of darker and heavier metal. **-Pick up lead-** his HUD instructed, igniting a spark of hope. _‘Now, with a blueprint, I’ll be able to craft a suit!’_ Just to be sure, he broke a few more, retrieving not only more lead, but gold and silver as well, and decided to leave the cave through the upper entrance. It didn’t look like there would be anything connected to a suit in here. In his excitement, he overlooked one of the plants, brushing against it.

_The entire world was pain._

Lightning was racing through his body, paralyzing every single muscle. All his attempts at screaming or thrashing were to no avail, it was only belatedly that he realized screaming would have probably killed him. Unable to move, he sunk to the floor, and once he had lost contact with the plant the paralysis subsided. His muscles were sore, his brain barely able to hold onto consciousness. _‘I-I need…healing…need…to…get back…’_ The thoughts were sluggish, but he managed to will himself to leave the cave by pulling his body along the walls.

Soon, he was enveloped by sunlight once again, the Kelp Forest behind him. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a shape of light grey metal a good distance away, but he couldn’t risk entering danger in his current state. So, marking the position in his head, he made his way back towards his Lifepod.

* * *

The med kit was still doing its work when the message reached him.

**‘Emergency: A quantum detonation has occurred in the Aurora's drive core.’**

_No…_

His body started moving on its own. Without telling it to, it climbed the ladder and opened the hatch before standing up on the roof, eyes focused on the ship.

 **‘The reactor will reach a super critical state in T minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, fo-o-our,’** the voice was getting muddled, filling his ears with static.

**‘Three, tw-o-o-o-o-‘**

First came the light, filling his vision and overloading his brain. Even when he closed his eyes it didn’t help. Then came the sound. He could have sworn that he had started screaming at some point during the explosion, but it was drowned out before it could even reach his own ears. The shockwave that followed destabilized him, making him stumble. His ears were still ringing, but there was an incessant clicking that still made it through. A Geiger-counter? The rational part of his brain presumed that, after an explosion like this, there was bound to be some fallout. The rest of him was just numb. He stopped screaming. His throat was sore. He lost his balance and fell backwards. His back ached as it hit the water; he barely took note.

**‘For your convenience, the radiation suit has been added to your blueprint database.’**

He didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus, we've reached the end of the introduction. This is where the story really begins!


	5. L_ST-_N-D_TA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Aurora exploded it seems like all hope is lost. But Thomas' journey on this planet has only just begun, and he soon makes a life-changing discovery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya! I hope everybody had a nice time, if you celebrated a holiday or not. Good news: I finally managed to update less than a month later! Anyway, hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter. Reviews and kudos are always appreciated so I know you're having fun!
> 
> Trigger warnings: Apathy, depression, borderline suicidal thoughts, monsters, panic attacks, implied/referenced character death, mourning

The hours had come and gone, bringing with them the dark, the light, and then the dark again.

Thomas hadn’t moved.

He was sitting on his storage compartment, arms on his knees, eyes staring into nothing. How much time had passed? He didn’t know. His stomach was grumbling, filling the silent room, though he barely took note. He should probably eat something, but he didn’t even have the energy to stand up and get something from his rations.

 _‘Why should I care?’_ He felt himself tense up. _’So what if I starve. I’m gonna die here, anyway, it doesn’t even matter anymore. Nothing matters!’_

Burying his face in his hands, he let out a sigh. He had already given up, but going through the motions to survive was the least he could do. A dry laugh escaped his throat. “To think I was so determined when I got here,” he muttered, voice still raspy from screaming. Without another word he made his decision and stood up, deciding that it made no sense starving himself when he still had enough rations to last another week, and got a cured Peeper and a bottle of water from his storage. Perhaps he could put a bit of order in it now, it wasn’t like he was in a hurry to do anything.

Once his hunger was gone he flipped through his recipes to try and find a way for him to clean up, stopping on a certain ‘Waterproof Locker’. It only required four pieces of titanium, which he quickly grabbed before making the fabricator get to work. In the end, he found himself holding onto a trapezoid box with two handles and an orange bottom, but when he attempted to place it on the floor it refused to open.

Distantly, he realized that it was probably meant to be deployed outside. So, too weak to fight back he opened the bottom hatch, taking the box with him, and swam towards one of the coral tubes that littered the seafloor. He had yet to see one of the grazing creatures enter them, so as long as those sharks didn’t venture over here and carried it off it would probably be safest there. Soon, he reached it and, hoping for the best, let go of the box.

Instantly, the bottom of the box reshaped itself and formed an air cushion, suspending the item in the water. He opened it, curious, and dropped a few pieces of titanium inside. But instead of sinking, the balloon just expanded to regulate the balance, keeping the box in the same place. 

For the first time since the explosion, he felt something other than apathy. Excitement started to bubble in his veins, curiosity about the technology and nature surrounding him begging to be sated. _’Perhaps…this could be my new purpose. If I can use my studies to do some research here, I can bring back my findings once I-‘_ He stopped. Suddenly, it was as if the events of the past few days were only now sinking in, filling him with undeniable despair.

He broke down.

* * *

Even after time had passed, he didn’t fare much better. Hours had turned into days, but since the daily updates from his PDA had been replaced by the regular warnings about his imminent starvation he had completely lost track. Quickly falling into a routine, the days had started to melt together. Wake up, eat, hunt, sit around, rest, repeat. There was no use in changing it up.

The only day he did things differently had started out like any other. He had drunk the last of his water and was just about done getting ready for the dive, when he noticed that his radio’s light was flashing. For a few seconds, he just stared at it, unsure what to do. “I’m all alone anyway, so even if I did answer it wouldn’t make a difference,” he sneered, but got up to press the button nonetheless.

**‘Playing pre-recorded distress call...’  
_“This is Ozzy from the cafeteria, what the hell guys?! They didn't warn us this might happen! Our pod was almost crushed by the seamoth bay on the way down, now we're hanging on the edge of a cave system and this grim-looking snake-thing's trying to eat through the hull! Come get us already!”_**

He listened to the message silently, mulling over the words, and completely missed the new message on his PDA. It was only when he looked up that he noticed a signal on his HUD, slightly to his right, labelled **Lifepod 17. Stranded near a cave system and under attack.**

_’I wonder if it’s a good idea to check it out.’_ While there would be no survivors he could save, he might be able to find more fragments to update his database. But was it worth it? From the message’s description there was most likely a vicious predator around, perhaps more than one. He hesitated for a few seconds, before opening the bottom hatch.

“I can at least try to observe the area. But if it turns out to be too dangerous, I’m turning back right away!”

It took him more time than he thought to even reach the general area. He passed a Kelp Forest, careful not to alert the shark-things, and continued swimming towards the marker. Soon, he noticed tufts of red grass appearing more and more often on the floor beneath him and remembered. _‘It seems the Lifepod will be close to that environment I wanted to explore, anyway. Might as well go for it.’_ Then, he froze.

Before him, the seafloor dropped away, revealing a seemingly endless extension of red grass. The ground was uneven, creating soft hills interspersed by high plateaus, and if he strained his eyes, he could even see the silver glint of titanium plates where wrecks reflected the distant sunlight. _’But it’s… so deep. I-I can’t do this!’_ His heartbeat had started picking up, his blood rushing just like the adrenaline in his body, but he just couldn’t. He _needed_ these resources! Even though he had been hesitating earlier, seeing this field of wrecks and fragments just waiting to be salvaged was filling him with hope. Now, if only he could will his body to move forward…

Suddenly, a roar filled the waters, a deep rumbling sound that sunk into his bones and permeated his every thought. He was shivering, every logical part of him screaming for him to remain still in hopes of avoiding discovery, but he still looked up.

And instantly regretted it.

A shadow, larger than anything he had ever seen, was passing over him. The creature was far enough above him that he hadn’t felt its movements, but he could still make out the edges of a hard blue shell, two breathing tubes on its underside and three large tentacles protruding from its back. Finally, his instinct kicked in, making use of the gratuitous amounts of adrenaline he had produced, and his body whirled around before hightailing it out of there.

The next minutes were a blur. He faintly remembered running into a herd of bloated herbivores and not even caring about going around them, though it seemed he was fast enough to avoid getting burned by the acid, and then finally reaching his Lifepod and smashing the hatch down as fast as he could, before collapsing. He was now curled into a ball on the ground, hugging his knees, and tried to get his heartbeat under control.

“Krakens! Freaking KRAKENS,” he pushed out, his voice still strained from hyperventilating. Cold sweat was running down his face and mixed with the seawater that was dripping from his hair, leaving behind a sensation that he had grown far too accustomed to during the last few weeks. “How… how can I ever leave the Shallows again with things like THOSE roaming around?!” The fear was consuming him, but there was nothing he could do. Nothing but remain curled up until it subsided. There was no logic to cut through the terror, no courage to protect him. He was still alone.

Several minutes passed before he was able to let go of his knees and sit back up. The fear had gone, but all it left behind was an emptiness that simply left him numb. He was going to die here, that’s all there was to it. There was simply no way for him to build up the willpower needed in order to manoeuvre around those creatures, much less confront them if they turned out to be hostile immediately.

 _’But wouldn’t I be better off like that?’_ His thoughts came slowly, weighing him down and dragging him towards a spiral into the abyss. _’If I stay here by myself much longer, I’m gonna go crazy. That’s just fact.’_ He hugged his arms to his chest. _’… Maybe I should simply go out there and let the predators k-‘_

A loud beeping noise from his radio jerked him out of those thoughts. He saw it as if through a veil, the red blinking light grabbing his attention. But he just sighed and turned away. “It’s not going to make a difference,” he murmured, “Nothing so far has helped, why should it change now?” He remained on the floor. The light insisted. He turned away from it, but he could still see its reflection in the circular walls. He closed his eyes, screwed them shut even, but the afterimage was still haunting him.

Fine. He would listen to it one more time if that was what he needed to do to get some peace.

He pushed himself up and walked towards the radio dragging his legs, his body having used up most of its energy reserves. With a sigh he pressed the button, the mechanical voice informing him that a pre-recorded distress call had been received. As soon as the message started, he felt his heart stop.

**_”This is Lifepod 3, the coordinates of my location have been attached. I am attempting to upgrade one of my vehicles to try and reach the rendezvous, but I am unsure when I will arrive, so I ask you to wait for me. 3, out.”_ **

A familiar voice was coming out of the speaker, slightly distorted, but one he could recognize under any circumstances. He stumbled backwards until he could grab the ladder to stabilize himself, his breathing picking up again, and felt his consciousness rush back full force, tearing down the wall that was numbing his senses.

_Logan._

_Logan was here._

Deep within him, he knew it didn’t matter, that he was too late. He was the last survivor. But if there was anything, even the smallest chance, that Logan had left something behind, he had to go.

Clutching onto that thought like a lifeline he opened the hatch and dropped into the water, turning a bit until he faced the new marker labelled **Lifepod 3** , and started swimming. Fish were rushing past him, trying to evade his arms, but he paid them no mind, his attention fully focused on the remaining distance to the Pod. As the numbers dropped to two digits he noticed he was heading right into a Kelp Forest, and swimming a bit further with careful movements as to not alert predators made him recognize the place he had been in a few days prior, just before the Aurora had exploded.

 _‘Is this the thing I saw before?’_ he wondered, spotting the silver shell not far from him. The marker was right on top of it. Carefully, he manoeuvred around the vines, sighing internally in relief when it seemed that none of the sharks had noticed him, and approached the Pod.

It looked just like his own, with the big difference that its floatation devices had been torn to shreds and that there was a gaping hole where one of its walls used to be. He tried to stay calm, reminding himself that there hadn’t been any survivors when he started this journey and that he shouldn’t expect anything, but he still felt a pang of disappointment in his heart. _’Nonetheless, I’ve come this far, so I might as well just check out the inside,’_ Prudent not to touch the edges out of fear of injuring himself he crossed over into the Pod, his vision adjusting to the sudden darkness.

The first thing he noticed was another databox, the light on top of it guiding him towards the back. Curious as to what it contained he opened it and extracted the chip, before plugging it into his PDA as he had done before and a beep telling him that the download was complete. **’New blueprint acquired.’** the voice said while he checked out the database and noted that a compass had been added. _’That might be useful for finding my way around. Not that I’d need it, I’m never gonna leave this area, anyway.’_

With a sigh he looked around, disappointed. _’Looks like Logan didn’t leave anything else. I wonder if he made it to his destination, wherever that was, perhaps I’ll find some more clues there.’_ Still, it almost felt like he lost him once more. 

He was so deep in thought when he left the Lifepod that he almost didn’t notice it, only the flickering glow on the edge of his vision catching his attention as he got ready to leave. Getting closer, he recognized it as a PDA, almost completely buried beneath the sand next to a ruined Seaglide, and instantly started digging around it to loosen it. Once he held it in his hands, he pressed the button, hoping that it wasn’t too damaged, but everything seemed fine as it booted up just like his had done. However, instead of displaying a variety of functions it seemed all he could access were the previous user’s logs. 

_’Could it be that they connect to the holder’s suit to identify them?’_ He wasn’t sure, but it didn’t look like he would be able to transfer this PDA’s blueprints to his own. _’It was worth a shot.’_ Instead, he started to swim back, not wanting to get ambushed out of nowhere. Once he arrived, he closed the hatch and sat down, before selecting the first log.

 ** _”Logan’s log, day one, twenty minutes after planetfall.”_** The was shaky, distorted, but it was without a doubt Logan’s. **_”I appear to be safe. However, I do not know how I came to be in this situation. There is a distinct gap in my memories that will require further examination, especially given that I find myself unable to contact Thomas. All attempts at reaching my fellow sides have failed as well. Food, water and transportation have been provided by my Lifepod, so finding a way to locate them will be my to priority.”_**

The recording ended. _’So he didn’t know, either…’_ He started to get discouraged, before gritting his teeth. _’Now’s not the time for that! I’m not done listening.’_ With shaky fingers he selected the next recording, flinching when the first thing the came out of the speaker was a vicious growl. **_”Logan’s log, day one, four hours after planetfall. I…am not alone on this planet. It did not take very long for the local fauna to notice me and start attacking my Lifepod. I – ”_** Suddenly, a loud bang disrupted the recording, and the room was filled with static. He instantly selected the next one.

 ** _” Logan’s Log, day one, four hours after planetfall.”_** The voice was shaking. _Has he ever been this afraid?_ Thomas shuddered. **_”I have now sunk to the ocean floor, my floatation devices having been destroyed during an attack. Luckily, the water was not too deep beneath me, I can still see the surface.”_** There was a break in the recording, He almost went to press the next button before he heard Logan speak again. **_”My Lifepod has just received a broadcast from Officer Keen containing coordinates for dry land. As this location has become too dangerous, I will attempt to reach it. Hopefully, I will be able to regroup with the others there.”_**

Only one recording was left. He wanted to listen, but his hands were shaking too much. _‘There… there was a reason I found this right next to his Lifepod…’_ Deep down, he knew what it was. But was he ready to have it confirmed for him? He wasn’t sure. However, the PDA made the decision for him, filling the air with the sound of splashing water as it started the recording automatically. 

**_”This Seaglide must have been faulty, it’s heating up way too quickly,”_** Logan gasped, a high-pitched humming noise accompanying his voice, **_”I am afraid I will not make it to the rendezvous. I’m so sorry, everybody. Thomas, I – “_** The sound of an explosion rang in his ears, already painfully familiar, before it was ultimately replaced by static.

“Logan… no,” he whispered, tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. But the voice was gone, silent. His PDA dropped to the floor, hands holding his face as the sadness took over. Was this all there was to it? Was he just destined to find a small light of hope, only to have it snuffed out by this ruthless planet over, and over, and over again? A sob escaped his lips. As crushing as it was, he could not deny that hearing Logan’s voice once more had filled him with a sense of peacefulness, just the way it had before. With a sigh, he raised his head. Perhaps he could try and locate the others, or what was left of them. Perhaps this was something he could do to pay a last tribute.

 **’Integrating data package into PDA.’** He didn’t even listen. Only when the screen lit up brightly did he glance at it, before freezing. 

Instead of the regular menu, the screen was displaying a face. Not just any face, _Logan’s face._ Thomas scrambled, not even bothering to stand up as he frantically tried to grasp the device in his hands. The figure’s eyes were closed, but he could see him flinch when his tears hit the glass. “Lo-Logan,” he croaked, his voice barely loud enough to reach his own ears. Logan’s face twitched. Then, after what seemed like hours, he finally opened his eyes.

 ** _”… Thomas?”_** His voice was weak and filled with confusion, but the disbelief in his gaze was quickly replaced by relief as he realized that Thomas was there. **_”Thomas! You… you found me! I’m so glad…”_** The words faded out, overshadowed by emotions he wasn’t used to from the logical side. 

But Thomas didn’t care. He hugged his PDA to his chest, tears flowing freely down his face. “Logan! You’re here, you’re here,” he repeated, over and over, as if trying to convince that small part of him that still refused to believe it, that small part that was still guarding against despair. 

**_“Yes, Thomas. I am here,”_** he assured, attempting to sound as soothing as possible, **_”although I do not know how this could be possible.”_** However, it did not seem like Thomas would be able to discuss his circumstances at the moment, crouched on the ground as sobs wracked his body. So he waited, repeating words of encouragement and promising that he would never leave again.

Finally, several minutes later, Thomas looked at Logan once more. His eyes were still red, but for the first time since he made the Repair Tool he had a genuine smile on his face. “I-I’m just… I’m so happy you’re here, but… how is this possible? I heard the Seaglide explode, I thought you died,” he breathed. Logan looked pensive. 

**_”I… think I did,”_** he replied slowly, lifting his hand before Thomas could reply. **_”To answer your questions, I do not know how this is possible, either. However, I distinctly remember a flash of pain followed by darkness. I… presume my Seaglide was malfunctioning, leading to its explosion.”_** His voice cracked a bit. 

Thomas started at him, barely able to grasp what he was hearing. _’Can I just believe this? It doesn’t make any sense!’_ he thought, mind reeling, _‘But so far, nothing else has, either…’_ He shook his head. Thinking about it right now would just cause a migraine, it would have to wait until he got used to this new situation. 

He was just about to ask Logan what else he could remember when a yawn escaped him. Instantly, the logical side’s eyes opened wide, as if he had just taken his first good look at him. **_”Thomas, have you been sleeping at all?”_** Worry clearly showed on his face as his gaze darted around. Thomas touched his own cheek, only now noticing the saggy skin underneath his eyes, and tried to think back. 

“In the beginning, maybe…” Another yawn interrupted him. “Can’t remember. ‘Think I just passed out sometimes.” He honestly had no idea how much sleep he had been getting, he’d been too preoccupied with the state of the ship and his survival. The fact that this planet had a shorter day-night-cycle than what he was used to didn’t help. He wanted to voice this to his companion, but the horrified look painted on the other’s face made him shut up. 

_**”Have you forgotten the consequences you will suffer if your body doesn’t rest? Not to mention the toll it will take on your cognitive abilities,”**_ Logan scolded, **_”You will need both. This is a highly hostile environment, and while I hope to be able to assist you with certain tasks you will still need to ensure your own security and health by attending to your basic needs. I-“_**

But before he could keep going, Thomas had already raised a hand. “Logan, thank you. I’m sorry I made you worry, even…” He smiled as one last tear rolled down his cheek. “…even though I really missed listening to your advice like this. I’ll do my best to take care of myself from now on.” With a sigh he laid down on the floor and placed his PDA next to him, noticing Logan’s worried expression. “I promise,” he added, the words already slurred, which seemed to appease his companion. 

**_”Well then, I will not keep you any longer. Good night, Thomas.”_**

His voice was much softer than usual, but the young man didn’t notice anymore, having already sunk into a dreamless sleep. 

* * *

He opened his eyes, the distant noises of the grazing aliens rousing him from his slumber. There was still a lingering soreness in his muscles from the hard ground he had grown accustomed to, but he felt more refreshed than he had in a long time. Lingering a bit in his state between wakefulness and the land of dreams he wondered why he was feeling so calm, before suddenly jerking up, every last bit of sleep purged from his body. _’Did yesterday really happen? Did I really…or did I just make it up? Did I go crazy from lack of sleep and my mind was playing tricks on me?’_ With shaking hands he picked up his PDA, sighing in relief when Logan’s face was right there. 

**_”Good morning, Thomas. I hope you slept well,”_** he said, a small smile on his face when Thomas nodded. **_”That’s good to hear. Is there anything you need to do today, or in the near future? I might not be there physically, but I can manage your tasks and organize your inventory. I took the liberty to look through it while you slept and noticed you have run out of water. Acquiring more should be your top priority.”_**

“You’re right.” Thomas put a hand to his chin. “I meant to hunt for Bladderfish earlier, but I was interrupted. Aside from that…” He wracked his brain, trying to remember what else he could need. “…Maybe I could try and make a radiation suit. The water might be fine right now, but the fallout from the explosion could contaminate this area at any moment. I need to be prepared,” he decided, and Logan agreed. 

“Then, let’s get going, shall we?” He pumped his fist. _’Now that I’ve found Logan, I’m sure things will get better. And if he’s here, that probably means the others are, too! Who knows, I might find some hints as to where they are, I’ll need to keep an eye out.’_ With newfound energy he put on his mask and air tank, opened the bottom hatch, and dove back into the planet’s ocean. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah! We finally have some dialogue, bebby!  
> And I just wanted to thank you guys for over 100 hits. Thank you so much for reading! ^^


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